Another bunch of fangals in ME
by annuna
Summary: title says it all, my mental friends and I fall into ME, our purposefate unknown, done 1000 times but I was bored


"OY! Saz! Wait up!" Cai, Caitlyn, yelled down the deserted school corridor.  
  
"Caity-poo!" Saz replied with a grin as Caitlyn caught up, "Howz the story going?" she asked with an evil grin.  
  
"Umm..."  
  
"Great I see..." Saz replied sarcastically.  
  
"Yeah well, I've been busy. Reading."  
  
"Reading what? I'm reading Lydia's Forbidden Land, the Dragonclaw series, it's so good."  
  
Cai glared, "I'm reading them next. I'm still on the Queen's Gambit, for the second time, you really should read the sword, the ring, and the chalice."  
  
"I've got too many English books to read."  
  
"Yay 5 days till the holidays" Cai cried bouncing up and down clapping her hands, to which Saz joined her a few seconds later.  
  
"Hey guys what's up?" I asked, having sneaked up and joined in the clapping, "Why are we having a group epileptic fit?"  
  
"Nuna! Honey-bunch!" the girls jumped and hugged me...a little too enthusiastically.  
  
"Guys, AIR!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"So where are we all heading?" I asked, "I've gotta see Ms. Jones about my 4unit piece."  
  
"Saz is dragging me up her so she can talk to Miss Marson about vocal." Cai replied,  
  
"She promised to buy me candy."  
  
"You got any food on you? The staffroom is having a meeting; they won't let us in till half-lunch." I asked. Food, my one true weakness.  
  
"Umm, yeah." Cai said scrounging her blue bag, flicking her long brown hair back, "Yeah here we go, 2 of those weird chocolate things and a bag of chips. You got any?"  
  
"Ate all mine at lunch." Saz said grinning.  
  
"Well, I got nachos from diner yesterday." I said drawing out my prizes in triumph, I am the master of food scabbing I swear.  
  
"Yum!" and with that we all plopped down to eat the food. Just as we all made a grab for the nachos there was a sudden gust of wind and the world went black.  
  
When we came to we were fully disgruntled at first to note our nachos were not there, only after that thought did we note that we were no longer in the top English corridor, nor in any part of the school. We were in a forest. And to make things even better, it was not an Australian forest, no gums, no wattle, no paper barks, it was very un-nerving.  
  
Needless to say this prompted a large amount of swearing and the traditional, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto." from Saz.  
  
Looking around I spotted a large oak tree that drew me, with my cancer moon I trust my instincts, and walked up to it. It was tall, oh boy was it tall, it had to be three or four storeys! Needless to say spending years as a practicing wiccan I learnt to connect with Ea, but I've never been able to sense as much life as I did now, I could practically hear the trees whispering. And something felt different.  
  
"Guys I don't think we're on Earth, it doesn't feel like home." My two little non-biological sisters nodded, scarily serious.  
  
Didn't last for long.  
  
"Maybe we've been kidnapped by aliens!" Saz exclaimed.  
  
"Or maybe we've been sent back in time!" Cai suggested.  
  
"Or maybe we have befallen the fate on fan girls falling into Middle Earth or Tortall." I suggested, wouldn't I love to be in Middle Earth, in the Fourth Age preferably.  
  
"We're going to need to find a settlement anyway, unless we want to starve in this gorgeous wood, wish I had been a girl guide." A groused, 'hey I'm the oldest someone has to use their brains, I can't believe I didn't get my story checked by ms. Jones, damn Mrs. Gosbel, the fat, peacock dressed, sex- obsessed teacher, It was HSC work!'  
  
Sadly I asked the oak which way to go, I went in the direction I sensed was right after I asked. 'hopefully I wasn't going crazy but I trusted the weird tree directions + instincts thing.'  
  
Saz, Cai and I started singing to prevent boredom, 'I'm a nut', the peanut song, 9,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall...you get the idea. In fact we had just started into the chorus of U.G.L.Y when I heard something to my left, turning I came face to face with a very pointy arrow.  
  
Now I would have expected to have some kind of reaction to this fact, a scream, a jump, but no; detached curiosity and a sense that I already knew this would happen, I think I am going slowly mad. Or perhaps I've read too many lord of the rings fanfics about girls falling into Middle Earth being accosted by some elves before falling madly in love. Of course none of these fan girls ever think that an elf loving them would force the gift of mortality upon their crushes, oh no, that would spoilt the happy ending.  
  
Ok. So here I am, standing with my two, not legally adoptive, sisters, in a forest in Middle Earth, being threatened by what look like hot elves, having taken this path from a feeling gained from a tree and I'm thinking about stupid fanfictions. Yes the men in white are my friends, they bring me my special jacket to a nice white room where ramming the wall does not hurt.  
  
The elf dude is eyeing me strangely, 'haha oh yeah my skirt's just above my knees, and I always leave the top few buttons of my blouse open. I probably look like a Middle Earth prostitute, or rather we look like a trio of Middle Earth hookers in the middle of a wood.' Hot blonde elf is saying something to me, 'pity I don't speak sindarin or quenya; or any norse languages, Tolkein based elvish on them right? If I had just remembered the norweigan I knew when I was little...'gutag', no, 'tuck' I'm rambling in my own mind...'  
  
Caitlyn's mumbling "I think we're in trouble." Very astute friends I have. Saz, being much more of an aries than myself, and never silent or quiet, of course breaks the ice, I quoteth, "Who the hell are you guys? Where are we? What day is it? Where the fuck did our food go? Would you stop pointing those friggin' things at us!"Thia was said at most high speed and pitch.  
  
Hot elf man cocks a mocking haha-stupid-human smile before replying. "I am Legolas Greenleaf, you are in Fangorn forest, it is June the 30th in the 14th year of the fourth age, I have no idea about your food and the arrows stay till you answer MY questions."  
  
'Oh yes this was most certainly shaping out to be a fanfiction plot line.'  
  
"Firstly who are you and who lead you to this spot?" 'man did he sound grouchy.'  
  
"My name is Lydia, this is Caitlyn and Sarah. We walked this way after appearing besides the huge old oak tree, we had been sitting at school eating lunch and about to talk to our teachers once they had finished a meeting." 'Leggy, as I shall now mentally call him, seems perturbed by this announcement, I believe he has just made a rather accurate guess at my sanity.'  
  
"Where about is this school?" he asked, 'definitely a blonde methinks.'  
  
"In Castle Hill, which is a suburb in Sydney, in Australia. Where Middle Earth is present only as a fantasy story by J.R.R. Tolkein in his works 'the lord of the rings' and 'the hobbit: or there and back again' and the works of mythology published by his son Christopher 'The silmarillion'. Happy?" I snapped.  
  
Elf dude steps over to intimidate, it works; I'm only 5foot 5 he's about 6 foot 3, "I would not use that tone if I were you." 'man his tone would re- freeze ice.' I keep staring defiantly, 'please don't lock us in a dungeon, why am I so proud?'  
  
Leggy stalks off, well as much as an elf can stalk, signaling us to be brought along. Saz and Cai are staring at me, guess I don't snap at people that often. Leggy stiffened at the front when Saz "whispered", (which is rather equal to a semi-quiet voice for most of us) "Good one Nuna." Now before you ask Nuna is short for Annuna, one of my nicknames. I decided to try one of those elvish name generators, I got Annunathradiel, bit long so I cut it down.  
  
Yet I digress, the sexy elves led us down a path in the forest till we came upon a gorgeous hall set into the hill, that was similar to Meduseld in size, shape and the golden colouring of the wood, yet within the trees and with graceful architecture like Lothlorien. It was both a part and separate to its surrounds, golden steps and silvery ropes lead up from it into the trees to talans. The floor was grassy and for feasting, meetings and occasions but the people seem to live in the trees. To my left I could hear horses and to my right the sound of running water, I assume they were the stables and bathing areas respectively.  
  
I'm certain, had I not been fearing slightly for our safety, I would have taken great joy in the way the hall of Legolas Greenleaf blended softly into the green surroundings and the magic of the whole situation, as it was I was most certainly not in such a kind frame of mind. Perhaps it was being surrounded by ethereal, immortal, beauties, or maybe it was the sheer number of blonde heads, 'I hate blond hair' but I was on edge, my senses were strumming for some unknown reason. There was something just out of reach of my normal perceptions that I could sense but I was too scared to push the feeling while I needed my wits about me.  
  
"You are in luck, Mithrandir is visiting, perhaps he may explain this chain of events; if what you say is true." Prince Legolas said tersely. "My people will help you freshen up for the feast tonight, we will decide your fate then."  
  
"Oooh a feast!" Cai exclaimed, quite frankly I was waiting for her to say something silly on this trip, "What's the occasion? Is it your birthday?" At this point Saz and I both burst into mildly hysterical laughter at Legolas' look of discomfort.  
  
"My father, the members of the fellowship, Queen Undomiel, her brothers and Lord Elrond, King Eomer Eadig, his sister and her husband, Haldir and his brothers on behalf of Lothlorien, and the Prince of Dol Amroth have ALL come to inspect my hall as it has only been recently completed. THAT is why we are having a feast."  
  
I couldn't help it, I saluted and barked out a "Yes sir." Before Legolas, oh crush of millions of fan girls, rolled his eyes and left us to be escorted to a group of elleths who to my eyes looked evil as they held brushes, dresses and worst of the worst...Makeup. 


End file.
